Ode to My Mother

Damn you, 

I mean it...

Thanks a fucking lot.

You're the only one I can truly blame

For this shitty life I've got.

Now that we're both here at the table

Let me show you what I brought

It's safe to say dissapointments in store for you.

If credit's what you're looking for,

I'll give it to you, that's for sure

Your influence had a big effect on me.  

I've become what I said I'd never be

Despite my desire and attempts at avoiding

Everybody who said it was right...

I'm just like you,

Hope you can sleep at night

Knowing that even though I fought the good fight

Your disease carries over with me.

I don't even know where to begin with you,

Out of order, reasons come easily

Long story short, I hate myself

For letting you become of me.

What do I mean?

If you must know,

I've gone where I said I'd never go

Become the one thing I've always known

I never wanted to be.

"What's that got to do with me"

I can hear you say

And in my ears a favorite song plays,

"You're such an inspiration for the ways I'll never ever choose to be"

Still, I've followed in your footsteps fatefully

Which just makes it all even worse.

I wasn't even ignorant to your curse,

Yet I couldn't manage to avoid it still.  

Like a shot that misses the kill,

For I'll suffer and spoil but not die.

Don't act all happy like we're on the same side

Now you don't have to fail all alone.

The lights are on but nobody's home,

I'm surprised you're even awake.

I tried but I can't even fake

complacency on your level.

I'd probably make a deal with the devil,

To shake this comparison.

Want suggestions, oh you don't?

Well regardless I've got one you should take...

Pray that I wind up different and for God's sake

Don't torture me anymore.

After all, what are mother's for?

Came to terms with the reality of being you,

I'm finally glad you never attempted to

Be a grandmother to my kids.

When they ask,

I'll tell them it's the best thing you ever did

Being way too uninterested to take an active role.

Surely you would have taken a toll on them too.

Then you know I'd have to kill you...

Or rather put your misery to an end.

It's not like you have a single friend

Or anybody who can't survive without you around.

We'll all be better off when you're six feet under ground

You can sleep all you want and your voice won't resound in our heads.

To be fair, to me, you're already dead anyway.

When you're actually gone, I won't have much to say but Thank God.

Rest in Peace you miserable broad.