Brother

Sometimes it hurts too much

Sometimes I have to say enough is enough

And at least speak my peace.

But I can't find any now,

And I don't sleep or sleep easy anyway.

If that kid ever were to decide one day

That all this bullshit pulled and pushed him too long now.

He'd have in his pocket,

The easy way out,

Then death could find him unannounced,

And that scares the shit outta me.

He's one if the people I don't wanna be

On Earth without.  

And whether or not he's strong enough to put that shit down

Is not for me to say or speculate,

It's not that I doubt his strength

But stronger have tried and failed effortlessly.  

With every breathe try to make him believe that it's really that bad.

I'm sure the shrink's finger will point Mom and Dad,

But it's not just them to blame.

I wonder if things will ever be the same

As they used to be.

Want him to be happy and free

From the spell that's got him wound up so tight. 

Get some perspective, 

Right now he's not seeing right,

Clear all this mess up,

Saying this outta love,

But if I have to I'll fight.  

Drugs have taken enough from me,

Subject matter far from light.

From darkness into night.  

Motherhood Full Circle

Perspective changes as the full circle comes round

Two pair of little eyes looking up at me now

I remember the time when a little plus sign spun my whole world around

And the whirlwind hasn't stopped yet

As a mother I've barely gotten my feet wet

And yet I've gained wisdom in mass amounts

My ability to see what really counts 

Comes from people who aren't who they're going to be yet

From day to day who knows what to expect

Sometimes even Mothers feel hopeless and cry

But then a little girl shows up by my side 

And the other one is never far behind

It seems they know just what I need

Not worth much to anybody but me

Four little arms hug tight at my knees

And to think... I'm the one who taught them how to love

And they love me even at my worst

I got to be the one to hold them first,

They have control of my heart.

Try to remember that when I start

To let my patience slip.  

Motherhood is such an incredible gift,

Even if nobody brings me breakfast in bed.  

One day they'll be saying all the things ie said,

Then they'll cringe at the reality of what's going on.

The legacy of a young flustered Mom,

Who learned a lot of what not to do wrong from her own,

But for all ive whined, complained and moaned,

I'm sure others have had it worse.

Fact of the matter, she's the one who loved me first 

That example is engrained somewhere in me.  

With out her I simply wouldn't be,

So I mention her name when I pray.  

All that I am, these little girls, all that I say,

Owed to the imperfect love like no other,

In a lot of ways I'm just like my Mother,

And I should thank her every time I act just like her and cringe.

Around the world and back again,

A mothers love goes on and on.

Happy Mothers Day, Love You Mom.  

How Long

Call it a poem, or call it a song

Doesn't matter to me what format 

I'll state the ways you've done me wrong

Was a doormat for all too long

You found your power at our expense.

Nobody seems to like it when I publicly vent

But to care less would be hard for me.

The fact that your eyes are open

Isn't proof that you can see 

What's really going on.

I wonder how long this cycle has been going

Ponder how many women have knowing

Or unknowingly passed it down.

If what goes around comes around,

Then why did the past fail to haunt you

Let me tell you, I'm shattering this cycle, 

more than broken, it's through 

If the past is the past and the future is what I choose,

I'll make it better for me and mine.

But what if it's not?

What if I'm the kettle yelling "you're black!" right at the pot

Ignoring my own truth, or maybe being blind with ignorant bliss.

The real question in all this is, 

Why am I the first to realize?

Night after night I heard my mother cry,

Just as she heard with hers.

Until the sadness turned to rage, 

aimed at people too young for words,

And then it's a part of them too.  

How many more children will suffer this abuse,

At the hands of women who love them so?

And how far would a mother like me go,

To make sure she doesn't do it to her own girls?

I'd give them the world, and take myself from it too,

If I thought I couldn't be different you.

I was always the one to put my two cents in,

Even though  unwanted my opinions grated nerves

I'm sure they didn't help, my stinging words

The unavoidable truth, you bet your ass it hurts

As it damn well should.  

I'd trade in both my so-called mothers if I could,

Fuck their excuses, and all the bullshit in the past

Your kids shouldn't have to suffer for what you couldn't hack

Emotionally damaged rubbing off for years to come.

You may be that dumb, as to think it's okay

Giving all the excuses to explain away 

I'd like to give you mine, each with the swing of a baseball bat.

But if I were to go and do that, I'd call that pot black again.

I swear all this misdirected rage will end 

With my little family who I hold close now.

I'll burn every bridge leading into my town

To keep it from happening again.

Every Day Sky- April 14, 2013

Every Day Sky- April 9, 2013

Every Day Sky- April 7, 2013