All the Lies

All right,

about now, 

Again, with the same old shit.

I know most of ya'll are more 

Than likely sick of hearing it.

"Who does this chick think she is, unfriend her because she's so sad"

My emotions are too much for you,

Oops my bad,

How do you think I feel with the burden 

All on my own.  

And you can't even pick up the damn phone, 

Just ignore me all out and altogether. 

Ran away with the friends and the Sunny Weather, 

Gray sky, it breaks her heart.  

It breaks her spirit,

She's broken down now,

This is the part ,

where a light should shine down,

Divine intervention,

6 and two white,

All tapped out.  

No, not that stuff of games.  

Help remembering the pieces still fit

Not that I wouldn't like to forget,

But the parts I forget aren't the ones that haunt me now.  

I want to forget that bastard,

You tell me how,

And I won't stop until it's in the bag.  

Another guy after the heart of my own Dad,

Lie and Leave and let her cry.  

Nobody stands by my side, 

Even though I'm growing to weak

And starting to shake.  

The pain of a thousand seizures 

I'd easily take to not feel your affect on me. 

Better to have never loved at all,

Than to have believed all the lies you told me.  

Beside Myself

It’s just another day alone.

Another night sitting at home,

Holding my phone, but it’s only good for games…

And finding out when the weather will change.

Nobody cares to call.

The only reason I have anyone at all is because they feel sorry for me. 

Wish my mind would set me free,

Wish I could free my mind.

Falling behind in every way there is.

The only reason I put up with all this shit,

Is to do right by these two little kids,

Who love their Mommy probably more than she deserves.

If it weren’t for them I’d never be seen or heard,

Prolonged bouts of silence make me doubt what goes on in my head.

Don’t even want to go to bed,

Siezing up from toe to head,

Gasping drenched in sweat and tears,

Crying out for no one to hear

SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

You’re abandoning the girl who has NO ONE ELSE!

To go out with the guy who lives across your hall. 

Why the hell do you pretend to care at all?

Better yet, why not invite me along?

Haven’t left the house enough lately to know the world still exists.

Forgotten all the things that I missed.

I miss you, Tell you I need you…

Just to get dissed,

And I let you do it perpetually.

Even I’m abusing me.

Nobody

I wish I could hate you like I should.

For me, knowing you, didnt do any good.

Even more alone this time around.

So high up, so fast fell down,

And you escape unscathed.

I have so much love and rage,

I cannot sleep for days and days,

Deciding which way I feel.

The effect on me has been all too real,

Losing marbles a few at a time.

I hope that when I lose my mind,

I'll finally get some peace.

Imagining I'm somewhere Southeast,

Without you showing up everywhere.  

Why does NOBODY care?