Out of Love

Wake up sad,

Go to bed the same way.

Over and over again

Day after day,

And I'm a just sick of this shit.

Two little people 

Won't let me quit,

And I won't let them down.  

Just want to smile sometimes

Instead of my usual frown.

My head is killing me,

Still, my heart hurts worse.

By myself in bed I cry

Solitude is my curse,

Can't help but wonder why?

I had such happiness and was so in love,

Just to lose it all.

Out of love is a lonely place to fall.

Spontaneous Happiness

     Today was one of those days where all the worries I have weighing on me are able to be set aside.  I woke up this morning later than usual because the girls were gone to their Dad's house until Sunday.  My intention was to stay up and clean house, do laundry and dishes and other chores, but instead I went back to bed and wrapped my arms around Bobby.  We haven't had a day with nothing scheduled in a while, and I should have know that was all I needed to put things into perspective.  I am so lucky to be with someone who does that for me.  Bobby and I have so much in common that it's just effortless for us to be with each other...he really is my best friend.  I can't even be mad at the kid because I am just drawn to him in ever way.

     After we both got up today, Bobby and I went over to Joe's and hung out for a little while.  After going on a walk with Joe and Lucy, we went home and had some lunch.  After watching the first half of a rather awful zombie movie, we decided (mostly due to my urging) to get out of the house and to walk downtown for some drinks. It was so nice to be out of the house...I've been stuck at home a good bit lately because we have been without a vehicle.  Sometimes, even when transportation isn't a problem, I find myself craving adult conversation.  There was a couple sitting next to us outside at Strange Brew, and overhearing their conversation, I butted in and we got to talking.  I haven't met anyone in quite a long time that I carried on such a natural conversation with.  We got to talking and swapped numbers so we can hopefully hang out another time.  Right before they left, I went and gave a high five to a guy that looked like a hip Colonel Sanders.  He was another nice surprise, asking me if I smoked and handing me a one-hitter.  

     I always seem to have the most fun when my life is lead spontaneously.  Everything has to be planned when you have kids, and you forget what simple pleasures are like.  Today was such a nice surprise in what seems to have been an endless supply of monotonous or stressful days.  It makes me wonder why I don't venture out more and why I don't have more friends here.  Finding happiness in small ways, like walking hand in hand with Bobby downtown, and good conversation with strangers makes me feel like myself again.  I can talk to anybody...and I love talking to and meeting new people.  All the hard things in life are more bearable when you have a lot of wonderful things to live for.  I have had Bobby for 10 months this weekend, and my girls have been the driving force in my life since the day they both were born.  I am so thankful for them, as well as for days like today when I'm able to remember that I am a person that people like. I should like myself a little more, and have more days like this one.  

He

Wafting smokey looking clouds blend into one with ours

Just taking time to gaze upon the stars

In heaven looking back at us in love.

Until now nothing was ever enough, 

now I am content.

Never really knew what it meant,

But If Men hail from Mars, and Women from Venus

With all the similarities between us,

He and I,

We are something else from some place other than those.

This far away from Alabama finding home,

It's like the only thing I've ever known,

Is this world with him erasing all I ever knew. 

Actually able to let me be,  and him be what he is too.

I'll love him as long as his eyes are blue,

and I have air to breathe.

In awe of how I feel like it's too hard to believe,

that I deserve to feel this way.

I find myself rambling

telling him every single day,

Like some kind of weird number one fan.

In my heart I'm making plans,

Now that I'm with the man I plan to keep,

Here's hoping that the pitter patter of little feet

Isn't far behind.

I know it's also on his mind,

Which makes everything happier all the more.

Suddenly I'm able to ignore

the now blurry the rest planet Earth.

For what it's worth, 

I consider myself to be one of the lucky few.

Not a whole lot else to do but enjoy the time flying by.

Sitting right next to me this wonderful guy,

who seems to think I hung the moon,

& the stars we sit here staring at tonight.

Wish I may and wish I might,

forever feel exactly as I do right now.

He's the only way I know how.

Not sure if it will ever fade,

Maybe not in life,

But in love I've got it made.  

If  could see the way I feel

You'd know I feel like the last girl on Earth. 

For what it's worth,

I'm long past caring

There are things in life I look forward to sharing

Not with you.