Broken Dreams

In the twilight of December

I sit alone waiting for the stars to keep me company…

Broken Dreams are dangerous things to me.

Life up in flames, smoldering in sham.

Running scared holds the pain off, but only temporarily.

My head full of truths I can’t even 

Bear to put down in script.

I feel like my heart was stripped

All I’ve ever wanted lies in ruins.

Analyze, break everything down

It seems my whole world got flipped around

Pick myself apart to find what’s broken.

It’s a cycle, but I think I it’s stopped

This game called love.

Unsure at first, turned into black and white

And now I’m stuck in the grey.

But I would give anything to make it clear as day.

I tell him I love him, and he turns the other way.

I’ve got to be ready to roll with the change

Stare myself in the face and be unashamed 

For the flames that can destroy one dream can be a positive

Thing if you stand up and rise from the ashes. 

So what does it all mean

When does not giving up become chasing broken dreams?

But I can’t see the sun for the clouds,

Although it’s possible he might come around

There’s no easy escape from heartbreak.

Serenity

Blowing past all illusions of reality.

Simple complexities are nothing to me.

I owe my soul to something higher.

But for this night,

This moment I'm free.

Troubles trickle slowly somewhere else.

My aching heart is somehow at ease.

Awake, but dreaming I float on.

Myself, only, do I aim to please.

Thinking not of unrequeited love.

Thinking not of the bills that are owed.

Happiness lends me the favor,

Of putting off reaping what I have sowed.

Life may not rain luck on me daily,

But tonight a four leaf clover is mine.

I don't care if this is short lived,

The last thing on my mind is time.

Windows down, hair blowing in the wind,

Thinking of all things grand.

Radio up, every song my request...

Wish I could summon this feeling on demand.

Only In My Dreams

I sit and wonder if one day I will wake up and You will be but a dream…

A series of beautiful moments that made my life better, even if you only existed in my REM cycle.  

For dreams of You are not forgotten, rather forever ingrained in my brain and somehow in my heart as well.  

Even though you say we are over, I find comfort in the one thing I know for sure…

When I say my prayers and close my eyes at the end of each night, you will forever love me, but only in my dreams. 

Unrequited Love

I’m so amazed that in your eyes

I glimpse a soul that’s just like mine.

But it’s a shame, for I’m engaged

In a love you just can’t find.

So complicated and so simple

All at the same time.

Our stars are crossed, of this I’m sure

But in a way for now that’s too obscure.

Diminutive discrepancies

from what you do and say

Have on occasion threatened

to push me far away.

But I never fail to forgive you 

when I hear you say my name.

I look forward to the day when our feelings are interchanged.

For now I just ponder the day

When what’s unrequited becomes reciprocal

I try to be happy with what we have

But sometimes it’s just too difficult.

But then I hear you say my name

And all the anguish melts away.

I have hope knowing that one day

Our feelings will be interchanged.

Hopeless

Perpetual rain falls from the windows to my soul

Caused by demons deep within.

My anguish is of my own design

But it tears through me all the same.

Heart, Soul, Mind

All Confused and Intertwined.

Wishing I could dance back through time

Wishing my stars were all aligned.

But it’s hopeless.

Happiness found is now happiness lost

In a name, a face, a heart I hold so dear.

My good thing, something I thought I did so right.

Is now but a smile from time to time.

I’m lost because that person no longer mine

And it tears through me all the same.

Heart, Soul, Mind

All Confused and Intertwined.

Wishing I could dance back through time

Wishing my stars were all aligned.

But it’s hopeless.

Train goes by, sun shines outside

Consistency thrives only in the worthless detail.

It’s dark in my room, in my world

What matters most is for me to destroy.

And it tears through me all the same.

Heart, Soul, Mind

All confused and intertwined

Wishing I could dance back through time

Wishing my stars were all aligned.

But I’m hopeless.

Gravity

Find someone else is what you say.

Takes my breathe away,

I can’t believe the truth of it all.

You’re gone, never coming back.

Attack of the heart,

Worse than a heart attack.

Let me go.

Release my heart from your jaded grasp.

Free me,

Wish it was that easy.

Hear your song and think of what made us,

And how it slipped through the cracks.

Can’t help but look back.

Something so wonderful couldn’t last forever,

Just wish you weren’t my gravity.

Hold me down ever constant.

Pull me into existence,

Make me real.

Effect me without my control

With your purpose.

So go on and make me want what I can’t have.

Even though I’d pay any price.

I’ll never be fully free of it,

so hard to be consumed by something you want to hate.

Gravity, you run right through me.

A force more than me reminds me of what I lack.  

A crime to myself forced by your name,

Nothing will never be the same, and it’s too bad

Just wish you weren’t my gravity.  

Sometimes I think it would be great if we could go back in time and watch the people we now love so we know what not to change.

All the faces blur to those who have impacted my life...the people who have been my awakening.  Somehow they are the key to who I am now and who I will be.  

Smoke and mirrors...

Everything happens for a reason.  Night blurs to day.  What is the reason for that?  Why do painful fleeting moments linger so long on the cerebellum in spite of your please that they dissapear? 

I'm sinking deeper.  Make me, break me, What is real?  I'm so fargone now.  I want to laugh but I'm too cold to feel.  

Who am I?  Do the Angels even know, or do they have to ask the devil?  When I lose control, who takes the helm?

Riding, lost in time.

Forever, today is on my mind.  No bandage could cover the wounds I thrash upon myself.  I guess Ive made myself too easy a target.  After all, the seasoned thief cherishes not the easy steal.

I'm not myself without all this, but if I'm not me then who am I now?

Looking at myself in the mirror is like beholding an image of an object so fragile you hush so not to leave a fragment of breathe upon it's surface.  I move but not to my liking.  This is not my namesake, my facesake for that matter.  Rather this is the shell left behind, uninhabitable by the creature that has moved on.