If Ever You Falter

You smile at me,

Baby Blues Beam

When I say everything 

You're what comes to mind.

Thought I'd fallen too far behind

Didn't know that I could find

A second chance to live a life of possibilities.

Now knowing what love means,

Leaves me blown away.

Come whatever may we'll stay

Hold on strong.

Love Lifelong.

I can't imagine how crazy I'd have to be

To doubt for a moment

What's between you and me

The real thing.

Happiness took wings to fly

Your eyes are my sky.

Forever's not enough,

But we'll start with this lifetime.

And I would die if you werent near me

Knowing never again could there be such a love.

The stuff dreams are made of.

If ever you falter

For a single second

I think you're not all in,

I will take the time to make you see

Fall in love all over again.  

Show you just how much you mean.

Not trying to post you in.

You might change your mind

But when you start to doubt

Think of a life without loving like you do with me.

If I ever waiver,

bring me back to sanity.

Kiss my lips, all that matters is you and me.

Whirlwind

It's all a whirlwind now.

Staring up to heaven while my world spins round.

Til It's all a blur. 

How much more can I endure

How many more scars

My thoughts spin 'round too,

And I don't know about you,

It's just that sometimes I feel a litle outta my mind.

Happiness is way easier to find than to hold on to.

I just want somebody to sing my songs to.

Tired of Liars,

When I find the truth I'll hold on tight.

Finally get some sleep at night,

Maybe even enjoy being alive.

Less survive More thrive.

Head Above Water

Head above water

Even barely counts

Don't know how long I can tread

Life takes every single ounce of energy,

the air that I breathe

is sometimes all I have.

The end of me,

will surely be soon

Unless I can learn to relax.

There's a price to pay for happiness,

And one as well for doubts.

Keep that pretty place inside your mind

At ready to be brought out,

To serve you when life fails.

I hope you find the wind to fill your sails

Before sailing off the edge of the Earth.

There must be something worth

All this work we have done.

Dear Weary One,

The sharks are circling down below

Overcoming obstacles is all you've ever known.

Precious day it is,

when a smile spontaneously appears on your lips...

When you truly live,

some pretty lucid dream.

Strong as anyone you'll ever meet,

And more so than you know.

If life's a journey,

choose yourself which way to go.

Burden

A thousand miles and back again

Still can't escape you,

Just can't win 

The space between us serves us purposely.

Where do I go to escape my heart?

Started over again but you're still a part of my song.

The one that I've left to sing when I forget the rest.

But this way it's for the best.

Product of a crazy mother's madness 

And a father's disregard

No wonder I find it hard

To find a normal way to be.

What's in front of me will be different.

I won't fail her, as you did with me.

Won't rob a little girl of time to be.

Six years old, can't make you happy

But I'll try.

Brush your hair and wonder why Mommy always cries.

Little girl keeps house when she should play,

While Mommy sleeps the day away

And a baby cries alone.  

In the absence of her mother,

She feeds her baby brother,

and tends to all their needs.

Too much seen,

Too young not to dream

But it's going going gone.

Handle It

So angry most days.

Fly off the handle,

These fits of rage

Leave me feeling guilty.

Overreacting, lashing out

At toddlers and it kills me to know

It's not their fault but mine.

Nothing about this is fine...

Don't ask advice from me today.

I've known nothing but heartache.

So totally restless.

Walking circles around the apartment

Just staring at the mess.

Blinded by the forest,

I can't even see the trees.

With no one left to turn to

I fall to my knees and pray

To find some help along the way

It's all I can do to force a smile each day.

Put myself in a world of hurt and heartache.

Don't know how much more I can take.

Life's a bitch, at that ruthless one.

And I'm supposed to handle this all on my own.

Stranger

Blank canvas, Stare at the wall

Your mind is elsewhere, and down the hall

There's a room that I now share with a stranger.

In the air lurks imminent danger,

crazy too close by.

I didn't take you for the kind to lose it,

Although I know you didn't choose it

You're the reason why I'm so angry all the time.

It's not easy and it's not fair.

The person you were when we met isn't there.

I don't know the answer,

Just like most these days.

Can't cry in front of you, 

shedding tears in the rain,

Please calm this storm in me.

And return you to sanity 

Before I lose mine.

It's a thin line,

And I'm getting close to it.

In the end I hope I've got something to show for it,

All this hopelessness aside.

What I Have To Say

You say that I'm a pessimist,

And I would probably agree.

Tried to make the best of it,

But it stole the best of me.

The doubt was always there inside,

It grew from just a tiny seed.

Now there's nowhere left to hide

From these demons following me.

The reason for what I've become

The path I've walked that lead me here

For all the things I've said and done

To show for it I've only tears.

Afraid to take a set forward

Just to take two back to a negative one

I come undone,

And envy those kinds of hopefully naive,

Promise Sparkling in their eyes.

Til naive meets its demise

And their world crashes down,

all thanks to deceit and lies.

Haven't ever felt normal

Although I've tried

People see through my disguise

Don't understand me?

I'm not surprised at all.

Just like I'm not surprised when no one calls

At least there's nobody to hear me cry.

The good news is that I'm one of a kind,

The bad, the lonliness I always find

Creeping in on me, the silence can be deafening. 

Put the Beatles on and "Let it Be"

Get lost in music where I belong

Leave the thoughts on life to the world in a song,

Pieces of paper to be thrown away.

Yet I keep writing,

Page after page...

Dreaming that eventually,

Someone someday will hear all the things I have to say.