Day Past Deciet

If things aren't quite what you'd hoped they'd be,

Imagine how it feels to be me

Sleeping in a room I was happily called ours.

Your pictures staring back at me,

I'm so confused, still can't believe

That a lie was worth more to you than my heart in the end.

Yet you lied to me again and again,
No excuse cuz you were sober then,
Even without the booze you're not innocent.
Call out to an empty apartment,

Silence proves you're not here.

All we did, all it ever meant,

Is now as pointless as my tears.

If losing you was my greatest fear,

I shouldn't feel so scared without you here.

Fearless should have found me by now.

Lonely won't do justice for,

The solitary confinement that's in store for me.

Was so foolish to beieve,

Whatever percentage you actually met.

Why couldn't you just say what you mean?

Didn't care if you hurt me I bet.

I can't write it off saying "people change".

Huge mistake I made thinking we were the same.

Now I'm coming apart at the seams,

And these two precious little girls don't understand

what it all means...

They say they miss you and we all cry.

Wish I hadn't let you in their life,

Or in mine for that matter.  

Pieces of it are all left scattered.

Hard to keep it all contained.

Want to sit you down,

And have you explain a few things for me.

If I could trust that you would do it truthfully,

I could finally get some peace

Finally having some answers or 

at least letting you know how I felt.

You were worried about my health,

Now it's you that's killing me.

Feel so confused, on this day past deceit.  

Blessing

Unconfortability is challenging 

And life keeps is guessing 

See the change as a blessing 

For it keeps us aware 

Dear Abbey

I told a lie today

You asked what I was thinking

The ache in my heart

Didn't stop me from repeating

The usual words, I'm okay

You didn't want to hear me say

That I doubt you

And then it occurred to me

We can't go on this way but I

Just don't know what to do.

So i write Dear,Dear Abbey

Tell me what's the matter with me

Why am I asking you what I already know?

So many contradictions

Hung up on the encryption

Hold on for dear life,

If you love them let them go

Trust the voices in my head

Or the beating just below?

Fight For Love

There's a breaking point.

You can feel it drawing near.

makes the reason two pieces fit seem unclear.

Push it away, find peace in rage.

It means there's something still.

So you fight for it.

It's worth it.

Don't let it go so easily.

Don't set up a hard fall.

When you think you might be done,

They might see no problem at all.

But love like life has its ups and downs.

Balance Usually comes along.

Hold On Strong to Love.

These hard times, you can rise above.

Wrong

Just don't know what I'm doing wrong anymore 

Feel like nothing is right

Life is such a struggle

These feelings are so hard to fight

What is my dysfunction

Why can't I get it right

On wings of Angels

My prayers take flight 

Will I always cry

Cry myself a river

Can't make it go away

Despite how hard I try

What is so wrong with me

That its so hard to be

Just want some normalcy

But what's normal anyway?

Turning Point

Here I am again, 
The Silence closing in on me.
Unsure of who I'm sposed to be.
Thoughts swirl 'round uselessly,
And I can't stand the scars.
What am I supposed to do,
When I thought I was in love with you,
But don't know who you are.

I don't believe my ears.
Like I was walking around eyes shut.
Now I'm pushing back tears.
Knowing what to do is hard,
While I'd like to follow my gut,
It's not the one in charge.

Turning point,
Point me in the right direction.
Did he course change,
Or was it me that lost my way?
North or South,
Every course holds doubts for me.
It's hard to believe what you can't see,
So I'll wander around aimlessly,
Til the day I find the right way.